“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Prov. 17:17)
A number of years ago, I served as the primary care-giver for my grandfather. He exemplified the adage, “Some are better by nature than others are by grace.” Although he did not have a personal relationship with Jesus until just before his passing, my grandfather’s gentle nature and integrity were unquestionable. As his personal challenges increased because of aging, so did mine as his caregiver. It was during these difficult few years that a couple in my church surrounded me with support and care. They understood my situation, sensitively uplifted me in tangible ways, and seemed to know just the right time to call or stop by our home for a visit. They became friends who stood by me during a challenging life season and have continued to love me despite life’s ups and downs, as a living reminder that God would see me through.
The writer of Proverbs 17:17, presumably King Solomon, addresses the quality of relationship with both a friend and a brother. There are two probable meanings to this proverb based on the parallelism of friend and brother. First, if both parts are synonymous, then a friend who comes along side of us in a difficult situation becomes like a brother, metaphorically speaking. Thus, the friend is always available but especially during adversity. Second, if both parts are contrasting, then a brother offers more certainty than a friend when crises occur, providing a sense of safety and protection. Regardless of which of these two views the writer intended, the message is clear. True friends lighten our load, provide support and protection, and are unflinchingly dedicated especially during times of anguish or suffering, similar to the couple who supported me during my life challenge.
Several biblical illustrations of this kind of friendship and commitment quickly come to mind ~ Jonathan’s undaunted friendship with David and Ruth’s self-sacrificial commitment to Naomi. However, friends not only align with us in adversity, they likewise call out the best in us in vocation, as colleagues J. R. R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis exemplified. Meeting three times weekly, they called forth each other’s literary giftedness and creativity within a mutually supportive small group. Tolkien wrote of Lewis, “Friendship with Lewis compensates for much, and besides giving constant pleasure and comfort has done me much good from the contact with a man at once honest, brave, intellectual - a scholar, a poet, and a philosopher - and a lover, at least after a long pilgrimage, of Our Lord.”
How does Proverbs 17:17 relate to us today at Regent? What would it look like if we called forth each other’s giftedness in a spirit of genuine collegiality and friendship and stood by each other during times of personal adversity? As my friends were to me, Jonathan was to David, Ruth was to Naomi, and as Tolkien and C.S. Lewis were to each other, may we be found faithful to uplift each other’s arms in genuine love and caring. And in so doing, might not we become Jesus’ heart, hands, and feet one to another?
Submitted by Dr. Diane Chandler
